I might exaggerate a bit there, but in comparison to what I have done in the previous week, I felt that I have done a lot recently.
What I have done previously was just reading casually at home, helping out my parents a bit in the market, and just using my laptop and try to break it down...
It seems after having been relaxed over a long period of time, it is hard to get things started again because you are so used to the momentum, or lack of the momentum. The past two days was the college of business career fair, and that was what had me come back for. I received an email regarding to my passport was received by the Austrian Consulate General, yet the second page of the visa application and the fee is still missing. I rushed out to have these two completed and it was already enough to stir me and I did not want to go to career fair at all after.
I still made it there eventually, planning to go to career fair at 12 but ended up getting there at almost 2. It was okay, at least I had myself more dressed up and ready, and shaved too! I somehow began to smile even though I did not know why I was doing so, I was in a good mood in the career fair. Perhaps just smiling itself may turn my mood around and makes me actually feel happy, who knows.
Then I saw Pappy! A role model of mine in my freshman year, he was the captain on the Illinois Men's Ultimate team. We chatted a little bit, and meeting him on the career fair was a huge surprise for me. It totally made my day!
Second day of the career fair was not quite interesting, I became tired of all these not after long. It was still fun to exchange information and got to know more about some of the companies that not many visit. Most of them (over 90% I would say) do not provide sponsorship to non-permenant resident or non-U.S. citizens. It was no surprise, but still sucks to know. I am not too far off from graduating, but so far I am still looking for an internship position instead of full-time. A lot of people staying here just to buy some more time, even though it simply postpone the whole process and may very likely be that they just want to have more time to relax. Surely, we are only talking about the majorities.
Another interesting thing I noticed was the whole scene of the career fair- students dressed up "professionally" in suit and tie and dress. Everyone was intently exchanging information and getting the attention from recruiter. I really find it interesting, just like animals eagerly looking for mates or food to fulfill something. I am not saying that I am exclusive from all these! I am definitely one of them. Just that...it is funny that how I despised all these so much in my freshman, sophomore year and now I can see all these neutrally. How much time I have spent in holding my standard high and despising all the busines-related-practice in the previous year. I could have done more in so many things, but I don't regret about all I have gone through though. It was just too much fun all the way up to where I am and becoming who I am now.
Life is good, and sometimes I don't learn to appreciate it untill everything is over.
Yesterday, I went to the practice after I was done with the career fair, I was not as excited and energetic as I was on Monday. Attending career fair did strain myself...
I am glad that I am more motivated and proactive in looking for a job even though I am aware that I am still not very self-driven in many aspects. I am getting there. I am trying to want less but still do more. It was hard, and I don't think there is necessarily a conflict. Just like a lot of time we say that someone is mean, but he is probably not mean 100% of the time, there might be a 1% or 2% or even more that he is nice, or un-mean...such a bad example...
For the last thing I wanted to say there was just that even though there is many things that we hold to be true, it might be that we didn't see the other side. It does not mean what we hold to be true is false, just that it may be very likely only the partial truth.