mm...
so why did I choose to be in cob at the first place?
I didn't do my own college application, instead, I had some agent taking care of, for which my parents paid tonz of money.
That made me guilt once occassionally that I forfeit my right and distrust my own ability that I am able to accomplish it my own.
Then here I am. The best result out of the other 9. Some probably didn't even receive my transcript nor application.
I didn't care. Those ten all seem to be the same to me.
Life leads me to whereever I am, and I try to fit in. That's all.
I dislike my first year of college life. For many reasons, I was in some sort of trap. As I had always been in.
I worried about school work, about friendship, about futures, or relationship such things.
and that made me easily upset despite most people couldn't tell when I was down, not even friends.
That's maybe why I called myself zombie.
I played piano on my leisure time and played sports the whole year. I think that was sort of like an asylum to me, at least I got some "goal" to accomplish,
I got something to entertain myself.
Then I ran into my second year, which is now.
My concerns are the same. Maybe not so much about the friends one.
but the future, not even about after I graduated and so forth, but the much near future, really bugs me.
I guess I am in college of business now. and I am not really doing anything that "supposedly" many students in college of business should be doing.
Preparing the resumes, looking into interships, joining some business professional clubs or organization.
Even declaring a major...
...
why am I so pessimistic?
I'm so fragile.
and I hate public speaking.
sigh. and I dun like socialing in general!
Why bothering talking to someone I dun care at the first place.
Although sometimes I might be in a good mood and talked frankly with stranger, about his/her life, or about anything.
but that's not the case for the most of the time.
I dun like social network and leadership skill...
sigh.
but there's a dilema there.
I am in college of business and all I mentioned above are almost all required to succeed in my business career.
Not my thing huh?
wtf
so why did I choose to be in cob at the first place?
I didn't do my own college application, instead, I had some agent taking care of, for which my parents paid tonz of money.
That made me guilt once occassionally that I forfeit my right and distrust my own ability that I am able to accomplish it my own.
Then here I am. The best result out of the other 9. Some probably didn't even receive my transcript nor application.
I didn't care. Those ten all seem to be the same to me.
Life leads me to whereever I am, and I try to fit in. That's all.
I dislike my first year of college life. For many reasons, I was in some sort of trap. As I had always been in.
I worried about school work, about friendship, about futures, or relationship such things.
and that made me easily upset despite most people couldn't tell when I was down, not even friends.
That's maybe why I called myself zombie.
I played piano on my leisure time and played sports the whole year. I think that was sort of like an asylum to me, at least I got some "goal" to accomplish,
I got something to entertain myself.
Then I ran into my second year, which is now.
My concerns are the same. Maybe not so much about the friends one.
but the future, not even about after I graduated and so forth, but the much near future, really bugs me.
I guess I am in college of business now. and I am not really doing anything that "supposedly" many students in college of business should be doing.
Preparing the resumes, looking into interships, joining some business professional clubs or organization.
Even declaring a major...
...
why am I so pessimistic?
I'm so fragile.
and I hate public speaking.
sigh. and I dun like socialing in general!
Why bothering talking to someone I dun care at the first place.
Although sometimes I might be in a good mood and talked frankly with stranger, about his/her life, or about anything.
but that's not the case for the most of the time.
I dun like social network and leadership skill...
sigh.
but there's a dilema there.
I am in college of business and all I mentioned above are almost all required to succeed in my business career.
Not my thing huh?
wtf
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